Running Man

What's a Wok?
Something you throw at a Wabbit.



We're going to start with a little guided imagery. I want you to relax and close your eyes. Crap. I forgot that you're reading this. I'll wait until you get confused and open up again... You there? Good. We'll start over... I want you to think about closing your eyes. Now, picture a runner. Build him head to toe. Imagine someone who hits the road with the express purpose of placing his right foot in front of his left, and then his left in front of his right. This is a man who has practiced the aforementioned foot placements for hours and miles. You have the picture in your head? Good. Please compare it to the picture next to this blog. You will note a stunning absence of similarity. I am not built like a runner.

When I have need to travel any manner of distance on foot, my preferred pace is a mosey. Occasionally, I might break into a meander. When I'm late, I've been known to get up to a pretty good lumber. Running? Not my thing.

Don't get me wrong. I love sports and exercising. You might even call me an athlete. It's just that I'm better suited to sports that require great feats of strength, throwing people to the ground, or both. Running has always been something for other, more slender, people... until my wife said, "Let's run a 5k." At the time I couldn't think of a reason not to run it (other than "I don't wanna.". The running began.

At first, I ran as far as I could and walked home. That sucked. I did some research, and started training smart. You still wouldn't confuse me with a competitive runner, but now I can get through a few miles with relative ease and more or less enjoy myself. In the past year(ish) I've run quite a bit. I've competed in 5 kilometer road races. I had a pretty good time. But running still isn't an activity that resonates within my very soul... well... not until recently. You see, I've discovered a race that seems custom made just for me. I have discovered the Warrior Dash.

This weekend, I will lumber through 3.51 miles of Texas countryside. I will leap through fire, crawl under barbed wire, and traverse 12 other obstacles designed to make my life more difficult. The whole time, I will be placing one sized 15 foot in front of the other in a more or less vigorous manner*.

So let's try that guided imagery again. Picture a runner. He should be about 6'4" and built like he used to spend 3-6 hours a day training to throw heavy things as far as possible. He should also be covered in mud and straw. And just for fun, lets see how fast we can make him lumber.



* I'll post some pictures next week if I can remember a camera.