In the Doghouse

A man takes his Great Dane to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."


It's not that I don't like cats. Cats are awesome. I adopted The Baron when he was a kitten and he got me through a lot of tough times, for that and other reasons, he'll always be a part of my family, and I'll cry buckets when he passes. But the thing is, I'm a doggie person.

I don't remember a period of my life when we didn't have a dog. Brandy, a beautiful springer spaniel, was smarter than most people I've run across, and was a huge part of my family (just ask my little sister who she was named after). Max, Taboo, Uno, Spats (Spaaaaaats), and Sandy taught me a lot about life, and were always ready to play. No day is so bad that it doesn't improve a little when you open the front door to the happiest little fur ball in the world*.

For four years in college, and then a few more in grad school, I was dogless. Cat's are independent, but subjecting a dog to my small living spaces and erratic hours would have been cruel. I didn't realize how much I missed having a mutt in my life, until I started visiting friends with dogs. I was moving through life missing something... Then I got married.

Oh dear... that last line did not come off the right way**. I bought my wife an engagement ring. She bought me a puppy. Zeb is a Great Dane. We picked him up the day after we arrived home from our honeymoon. Zeb, like many additions to families, has been both more difficult and more rewarding than we could have imagined, and like many milestones that are difficult and rewarding, he has brought my wife and I closer together.

Dog ownership comes with responsibilities. My dogs have all demonstrated that they will not allow their families to come to harm if they can prevent it. They have all provided company, affection, learning experiences, and comfort. In return, I do what I can to make their lives happy and comfortable. They are treated with the respect they deserve as members of my family. Our species evolved to work together. Centuries of intentional breeding for specific purposes has, if anything, strengthened that bond.

So, as you reach the end of what, upon review, looks like a long and rambling blog with a loose canine association, you may wonder what sparked these doggy thoughts. Inspiration was found today in a status update from my future sister in-law. "Along with some coworkers, rescued this ADORABLE puppy from a nearby business. The guy apparently planned to leave the litter under his building when he boarded up the holes." The quote was accompanied by a picture of what was, indeed, an ADORABLE puppy, and went on to explain, to the relief of many, that all the puppies were adopted.

That was not an isolated incident. I'm sure many of us know a coworker who has picked up a box of abandoned puppies from a park or the side of the road. And we all certainly know about the unpleasantness in which Michael Vick was involved. It was that kind of nonsense that inspired this post. Remember my "No Jerks" policy? Well it applies to furry people too.

When I think of the good times I have had in the past, and will continue to have in the future, I get sick when I think about the miserable life some of our four-legged friends lead because someone was not a dog person. They were just a person who thought they wanted a dog.


*One reason The Baron will always hold a special place in my heart is that when we were living alone, he would greet me everyday at the door, and follow me in the window when I left. He is a cat who loves being a part of a family.

**Did some of you make a horrible pun about me "REALLY being in the doghouse now"? If so, you're welcome. If not... why? Do I know you?